Art doesn't always imitate life

Isabelle and I settled into her bed with a book she got out of the school library (ie: one that I did not have a hand in choosing). The story was roughly how being a big sister is more fun than being a baby brother. Cool by me.

In the day to day, I mostly live my life in circles where babies are routinely born at home, breastfed until they are 2 and beyond, sharing their parents bed(s). The babies in my world are carried, not strolled and their mothers worry about the pattern of their next sling, not the crib bumper. It's easy for me to believe this is the norm. I try hard when chosing books that address family to find stories that look like our home. This is a handy bibliography from LLLI that I've used: not sure if there's anything more up to date out there these days.

So, page two of our happy book sees Daddy preparing a bottle and Isabelle says, "That's right - big girls eat food, but babies drink from bottles." WHAAA? Deep breath. I try not to freak out and just focus on bringing this back to our experience. "Did Tom drink from a bottle?" "No, he had na-nas: he never drank from bottles ever." "Do you think you drank from bottles?" Tough one, since she doesn't remember, but she's getting the drift of this. "No, I think I drank just milk from na-nas too.... (lightbulb) So, just the baby in the book drank bottles, our babies drink milk from na-nas." I like the way she says our babies.

Next page doesn't improve much - a separate nursery with a crib for baby. Isabelle loves the mobile! "But Tom never slept in his crib." "No - he slept with me and Daddy. And so did you. Sometimes you still do!" "Yes, I think it is nice to sleep cuddled with your Mommy." Me too, kiddo.

And so it goes through the book. The stroller. "Do all babies ride in strollers?" "Sure they do - that's how they get around when they are too little to walk!" "Did Tom always use a stroller? Do you remember his favourite place to be when he was baby?" "Oh, yes. Your red sling! He was so cute." "Yup - you rode in a sling too - Daddy carried you a lot too." "Oh really. Yes, I remember I loved my sling." (Not likely, but I'll take even contrived memory).

So, the pause, then the question. "Our family is not much like this family is it?" Well, sure they are: they have a mommy and a daddy and a big sister and a little brother. They even have an aunt. But there are lots of ways our family is different too - and I'm ok with that reminder.

Babywearing Hallowe'en

Proscratinors of the world - Hallowe'en is coming up fast and you have to start planning now if you want your costume to be less lame than last year. So I, uh you, need to get moving. Ok, we need to get moving.
For those with babes of baywearing age, picking a costume can be a bit tricky. But these can actually be some of the funnest out there (if you think your baby can't be any cuter, put bunny ears on him...believe me, he will be cuter).
So, a few ideas:

Kangaroo and Joey
Ok, so not exactly digging deep for inspiration, but this is a really cute one and easy to do with any front carrier. For the grown-up, get a brown/tan sweatsuit (only time this is allowed) - a hoodie sweatshirt is ideal. Then make yourself a headband with medium length brown ears. Take an old fleshcoloured nylon stocking, stuff with poly fill (or rags or toilet paper if you need to) and try off the end. Pin the tied off end to the hem of your pants so your tail sticks out the bottom of the sweatshirt. The joey is in a tan sleeper (or sweatsuit) with a headband of medium brown ears. A spot of black makeup on each nose and you're off.
Credit to coolest-homemade-costumes.com for the photo.


Jack in the Box
One of the cutest costumes ever and fairly easy. You can use any front facing carrier. Dress baby up in a colourful sleeper and make/find a jester hat. Find a box about 10cm wider than your carrier and 5cm longer. Cut about a third of the box off with a round cutout at the top and bottom (for head and feet). Apply wrapping paper or paint box brightly (if you have a drooler -consider this in choosing your medium - it will right under them). Firmly tape 10cm of ribbon at each corner of the open side of the box. Once baby jester is in the carrier, tie the box on using the strips and voila - Jack in the Box.

Credit for photo goes to Adam Miller.

Hatchling
Another idea with a front facing carrier, super easy. Using an existing hat with straps, make a cover of white felt and cut a deep zig zag pattern. With more white felt or heavy weight white fabric, cut out a piece slightly larger than the body of your carrier and create a deep zig zag border. Pin it on with safety pins. Dress yourself in all black (you are the background in this one) and baby in a soft yellow sleeper.

Another one from coolest-homemade-costumes.com.

Itsy Bitsy Spider
The idea for this one goes to Martha Stewart, but is not especially Martha-like in its rigor (and I've great liberties with the instructions!). Take an old bedsheet and cut out a hole for your head. Using a black fabric marker, draw radiating lines from the neck, then carefully draw concentric circles to join them (the web). Your little spider will be under sheet - you'll need to cut a slit for her head to stick out. Just below the slit, glue or sew on a oval "body" made of black felt or fabric. Take eight mens trouser socks (microfiber according to Martha) and stuff with polyfilling. Using safety pins on the reverse side, carefully pin and arrange the legs over the web - use hot glue to make sure they join up well with the body. A black toque tops off the look for baby.

Credit for photo goes to Martha Stewart Living and you can get her proper instructions here .

Sometimes, one of the biggest problems is finding the right colour for a particular costume. How many of us really have a tan coloured sweat suit? (The answer to that question should be ZERO!). One thing you can do rather than try to hunt one down is to take one you already have and dye it. Even if what you have is totally the wrong colour, you can strip using RIT Colour Remover and then redye it.

Have a great idea? A great babywearing Hallowe'en pic? Send it along!

Mom be nimble, Mom be quick...

Mom jumps over the candlestick?

Well, not quite, but I've always been a light traveller when it comes to the kids. Pretty as those fancy diaper bags are tossed over the giant death star strollers, we pretty quickly discovered that we were minimalists when it came to hauling gear.

I got over the idea that I had to carry Isabelle around in the car seat bucket thanks to my midwife who said, "Uh, you could just, you know, carry her in your arms...". A revelation that came too late to spare us the expense of the giant stroller... alas.

For most of Isabelle's babyhood, I went out with a bank card in my back pocket, a carrier and a diaper tucked into the pouch. That's it - it was enormously freeing to be able to walk around like a normal person and not be relegated to hunting down elevators and ramps. As my husband calls it, the "disabled by children" syndrome.

But as they grow, so do we need to adapt. Tom is still wearable (and prefers to be carried very often), but they have a lot of gear these little explorers. And while I have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to carriers, my broken-by-pregnancy body can only haul so much.

With two kids now mobile, I'm often at a loss - do I bring a double stroller? I hate the double strollers - we have two of them and I don't know which heavy, awkward, pain in the butt one I dislike more. I put on quite the show one day this week when we returned to the car after a pleasant amusement park visit and I found I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to fold the freaking stroller up. I tried every which button and lever and the #*!@&$@*#&!@ just wouldn't budge. I tried putting in the car open - no go. Then I took out the doggie bars and tried again. Still no good, plus now I had to figure out where to put the doggie bars. A group with two dads was coming down the aisle and I could tell I was a source of amusement. It's one thing to be locked in my own private battle with a hunk of philosophically questionable baby gear, entirely another to be laughed by strangers. So I threw it. And it folded - and buddy laughed all the way to his car.

I'm not sure what the moral of this story really is? Strollers suck? Well, they kind of do, but they also allow you to carry more stuff than the average human mother can. And while less is more, food and gear for two little people, plus two said little people is more than I can carry most days. Is it that I bring too much gear? Maybe. Or that I put too much importance on being agile and get annoyed at the trouble that the stuff causes more than I should?

Or maybe the moral is that sometimes violence is the answer. Violence against strollers, not strangers who laugh at you, that is.

Friday Five: Cute Things

I need a little light and happiness this weekend - there's been a lot of dreary, bad news of late. So this week's friday five are things that I find so cute, they make me smile every time.

Little Boys with Big Backpacks

Babies Sneezing

Kids Napping Together

Babywearing Daddies with girly Carriers

Nursing Puppies

Enjoy your weekend!

Guaranteed to make you laugh until your sides hurt, especially if you've ever struggled through the white stuff.

Warning, the language isn't entirely G-rated (whose is in these cases?).

As a good friend suggested, this woman really needs to get in touch with her inner babywearer. Enjoy!

Shower Themes: Around the Clock Shower

Guests are each assigned a time of day and bring a gift that would be used at that time.
o Breakfast: Instead of a bottle set or sterilizer, try a boppy pillow or set of burp cloths.
o Lunch time: Instead of formula dispensers or bottle-warmer, why not get mom a great nursing top?
o Walk: A sling makes a wonderful gift and supports breastfeeding by allowing mom to respond quickly to baby’s signals, as well as providing an ideal cover for discreet nursing in public. A pretty diaper bag can also be a welcome replacement to the formula-branded bags that some hospitals give out.
o Naptime: Instead of a pacifier, why not offer a beautiful warm blanket for mom and baby to cuddle under?
o Bath Time: Beautiful gentle soaps, a rubber ducky or a bathing mat are all useful for bathing new babies. Lightly scented massage oils can also be a relaxing pre-bed routine. For something a little more original, try getting mom a water carrier so that she can shower right along with baby.
o Bedtime: a lovely bassinette or co-sleeper will allow Mom and Dad to stay close to baby for easy nursing in the night.

To crawl or not to crawl...

Thomas is 9.5 months old and he doesn’t crawl. There, I’ve said it.
He is semi-mobile, but the mechanics of forward motion really escape him for the moment. My knowledgeable mommy-self knows this is not a big deal: babies crawl when they have developed the need to get beyond the reach of their bodies. He is apparently content to catch whatever is falling into his circle of influence (which is wide enough to include the dog’s water bowl when my back is turned, mind you).
But, a voice in the back of my head wonders… should I teach him how to crawl? Maybe I haven’t been modeling enough for him… maybe I wear him too much...maybe he needs more motivation… How do you teach someone to crawl? What motivates a baby? As far as I can tell, the only thing he won't lose interest in is nursing – maybe I should lie topless just out of reach?
Sigh… isn’t all this supposed to get out of your system with your first child?

Weirdest Parenting Advice - Babies are not Rosebushes

Babies need space to spread out in order to grow. Variation: Your baby will be crooked unless you keep his back perfectly straight in a stroller.

I have to believe this arose from a gardener. Plants that are given more space grow better and if you let them bend for too long, they stay that way. Uh, yes, except that babies are not rosebushes.

They are baby mammals whose most pleasant experience to date (perhaps ever) is in the tight warm confines of mama’s belly and then her arms. And a happy baby grows better – ever notice all those indigenous mothers with baby tied to them? Ever notice how happy those babies look all squished inside their pretty wraps? Funny – there don’t seem to be millions upon millions of stunted, crooked villagers all over the world.

Arms tired? Ah, perhaps your little one is growing (phew!). Get yourself one of those lovely slings and carry on.